Craigslist is known to be bizarre place, but this advert for a personal assistant has surprised many for its level of intensity.
The ad, posted by ‘Two Animal Lovers’, is based in Miami, Florida.
The posting asks for a personal assistant to carry out household chores, and provide some organisational support for their personal lives.
This isn’t out of the ordinary, but the requirements certainly are:
- Written and spoken English language FLUENCY
- Able to maintain strict confidentiality
- No smokers (cigarettes, marijuana, other)
- No heavy drinkers (max of 5 drinks per week)
- No drug users
- No past criminal record
- Must love dogs and animals
- Valid drivers license (car will be provided if necessary for work) with experience driving in SF
- Experience with GSuite, MSOffice, Adobe Suite
- Experience with MacOS and iOS (computer and phone will be provided)
- Touch typing 60+ WPM
- Prior experience as dog owner
- No injuries or physical constraints that would impede your ability to rearrange furniture, lift a 40 lb dog up several flights of stairs, carry heavy grocery bags or luggage, etc.
- Able to swim well in the ocean
- Able to protect a dog from being attacked by another dog
- Willing and happy to clean up occasional dog vomit and/or diarrhea
There is a lot of ALL-CAPS used throughout, and ‘cringers’ are advised to not bother applying.
The job was advertised at $25-30 USD per hour, which has since be revised to $15-30 per hour.
The hours can be part time or full time.
They also list some desirable qualities.
- Experience as a personal/executive assistant
- Experience with a high-maintenance dog (long haired, allergies, etc.)
- Experience with long hair in general (you have long hair and know how to brush tangled hair without causing pain)
- You are a great cook and know how to make both rich, savory vs. lean, healthy meals
- Enjoy giving manicures/pedicures
- Experience in high-end/luxury retail or hospitality industry
- Good eye for design and style
- Prior experience reviewing and negotiating contracts
- Prior experience with home redesign, remodel, contractor management
- Physically strong
- Lift weights and/or tone as exercise
- Practiced in self defense or fighting styles (you can protect someone who is in danger)
- You like fashion
- You watch GoT and/or Silicon Valley
- Former or current aquarium owner (know how to set up a tank and create an ecosystem)
- You know how to ski and can watch the dog when we’re on the slopes
- You can make one-of-a-kind wood furniture pieces
- You’re able to help push my father in a wheelchair when he visits (stroke). I like to take him around the city as much as possible so he can get outside and see things. If we both take turns helping to push him then we can stay outside longer which will make him so happy.
On top of this lengthy list, are the interview requirements.
- Submit an email with a subject line that tells them your name and your worst quality.
- Send the employers a 3-5 minute video about yourself recorded on a smart phone or webcamera. In the video participants must answer the following questions:
What did you like about this posting? Confirm if this posting applies to you 100% (including personality description, qualifications, schedule, responsibilities, etc.). Tell us in what way(s) you’re not ideal for us (be transparent, no one is perfect and that’s okay, bonus points for honesty). Have you been a personal assistant before? For who? What was a typical day? Why can you be trusted to care for a dog? Can you cook us delicious food? What else should we know about you?
This is only the half of it.
Reactions have been mostly derisory.
— Kate Aronoff (@KateAronoff) August 9, 2017
— Julia Carrie Wong (@juliacarriew) August 9, 2017
Folks, FOLKS, I think I have found the most bananapants job ad of all time. https://t.co/Of44IpdSAK
— Olivia Conti (@olliegrace) August 9, 2017
Read the full advert here – and maybe apply. That salary isn’t bad.